so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
