He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
