1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
