good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
