just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
