Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
