How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
