so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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