im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
