I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I deserve this hangover.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
