I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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