So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
