i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize