I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
