Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I want to fling myself into the sun
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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