ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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