I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
