actually, I'm a sock model
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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