I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
