with your own penis?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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