Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
