And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
