She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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