Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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