ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
