Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
