you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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