i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
