What did we do last night that was yellow?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
