He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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