i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
