Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
