Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
