i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I will die if light touches me.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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