even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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