Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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