Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
