We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
