Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
