I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
