I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
