woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
