Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
