I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize