please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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