I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize