We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
