I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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