he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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