woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
