The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
