I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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