Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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