His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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