As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
