"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
