Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
