Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
