You really coming over, don't trick.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
