Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
