I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
