remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
