I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
