Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
