Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize